Steps To That: 06-21-24

We choose to suffer.

At this point of the journey,
I understand what it means that we “choose to suffer.”

We choose to suffer because we enjoy it, we are pulled into the feeling of suffering and we love it, we don’t want to be pulled out of our experience, out of our feeling.

This is possible to see after you remember who you are,
once Being is a choice, a door you can step into at any moment.
Once you know how to get there, to the silent witness part of you,

You can look at your thoughts, your headspace, your misery, and see that you are choosing to be there, because you like it,
you like feeling.

You could move into being, but desires are still enchanting, desires are still desirable.

To an extent, you have a desire both to feel and to be in a dreamlike state of unconsciousness.

It is enjoyable to become sucked into the experience so much so that you lose awareness.

It is at this point of the path, the point at which you can consciously choose to move into Being, that you become fully aware that your life is fully in your hands.

You are able to look at the future, you can see the results of the future if you choose to operate from unawareness,
you will remain in the same life you have now.

If you move into your Being and operate from there, you can see that the results of your life will be different. You don’t know what will happen, there is uncertainty, but you know that there is a different outcome.

It is from this intersection that you know that your own life is in your hands, that God will work with you in the direction you take, but the only one who walks the path is you.
This is a difficult to accept thing, when there is no responsible party but yourself, no one to save you but yourself,
and no miracles to help you except the ones you create yourself.

The feeling of “I don’t know what to do” becomes replaced with,

“I thought there was something I was supposed to do. How do I choose when there is no must do, should do.”